Agape ♥

why? why? tell me why?

Agape Love? I'm frust~

Seriously, I'm frust. What had happened to my English? They smelled rusty now. When I skimmed through my previous posts, I found boredom, bland and numbness. And my writing became unbearably long and with too much details.

Would it have to do with any psychological effect? Is it possible that previous days ago I wrote in a bad mood? Again, I don't know.

But now, I gotta tell that things changed. I'm okay here. Ermm...okay doesn't support very much the claim that I'm happy now. [In progress la......]

People have always said to the passive and unmotivated, those who apparently easy to give up...'Stand up,......and live for yourself.'

To Christians, we often rather live for God.

But I was doing neither.

Here, I see people grouped up together, moved in gangs. A friend told me, if you haven't try to find a gang now, you will be alone for five years. It is understood that we must watch out for each other. But is it mature enough for medical students who will be professionals five years later to handle things in such way? If I'm not in your gang, would I be an absolute stranger to you even if we went for the same lecture, joining the same club or perhaps staying at the same desasiswa for five years? If I'm about to die before you, would you save me in consideration that I'm not from your gang? Less dramatically, does it mean we cannot exchange knowledge, info and notes just because we are not in the same gang?

I just don't get the point. You can shout on the stage to call for integrity among us, among different races...but when you come down from that stage, you split among your own ethnics.

Coming here, I've seen more walks of life and the dark side of human, like the selfishness you can't imagine of. It's was a terrible place here when y0u find no hope for human which conversation preferred to be overtaken by rolling over eyes. [For some of them only......and even guys struggle to be attention-seeker...well, they are.]

But last night made me changed my mind.

I went for the welcoming night of Kota Bharu Methodist Church.

We played the Agape Love game to know each other. Seniors formed on big circle and juniors formed a smaller circle inside. And our circles was moving, and to each senior we would choose number and showed the number by our fingers. If the number matched, we only do the action according to the number. Otherwise, we bowed and apologized to each other.

Number 1 is the original love. Means we looked at each other into eyes and made intro where in that person eyes, you actually see yourself.

Number 2 is teaching love. Where we looked away from each other to our left side and made intro.

Number 3 is friendship love. We shook hand and introduced ourselves.

Number 4 is Agape love. We hugged each other and made intro.

Initially like others, I prefer number 3. I don't dare to look into senior's eyes, let alone hugged them and looking away from them doesn't seem respectful.

Then, I noticed some of the warm seniors often choose number 4 which my number 3 would have us to bow down and say sorry.

As time passed or senior passed, I began to have the gut to choose number 4 where I hugged a few seniors.

It makes me to realize there're still the people I'm seeking outhere. Why should I be sad whenever seeing my coursemates squeeze their eyes when looking at me or telling something hurtful with an indifferent tone? If I instead showing them some ♥it might confused them, right?xD

I felt the warm of human. I felt Jesus ♥ around us. It was just that simple night that took away my sadness for being here, three weeks.

As before that, I always wondered why people could just easily lend you a cold shoulder? But now I know, they lacked of Agape Love.

And I should share with them the love God has given me. ♥