Friday, January 15, 2010

My Drinking Theory II


I remembered there's one friend of mine, drinks too.
She likes Heineken, and it's the first time I knew Heineken when she mentioned it. Indeed, I know not much beer, all I drink is just Carlsberg; wedding's dinner, party, reunion dinner, steamboat, midnight TV......
She told me she was going grab a beer that day when we were back from Sunday's service and dropped by a hypermarket. I told her that she looks like 12. She stared at me like I'm a weird jerk. I was happy with that, in fact, it's not a big deal. People asked for my comment, but thinking back, I never gave one that's satisfied, I'm bad at pleasing people, collecting agreement as well as pointing out their weakness. By the way, as a Christian, I better not to do much judging, even if a small murmur inside the heart. I'm trying to be deliberately isolated from even a small social circle. Unless, we spent much time together or else it's hard for me to see eyes to eyes with a person. I often think not much people on Earth would have the same page as me, since a little conversation and some purposely greeting and saying "hi" would only happen, I better stayed away.
After all, she chose a Sandy instead. I told her it would be suck to drink Sandy without ice but without hesitate, she said she could pick up some ice from the Cafe later. This is why even my mom is not very happy with me as her offspring, unlike her, I'm always lacking analysis before words flood out from my mouth. But I assured Mom not to look down on my talent to give dry and sarcastic opinions so that more and more people will hate me. I'm looking forward to attend Kuantan Church again and actually I do not really being disagree with the church as any other else. It comforts me when the tones from the piano hit my ears and we started to follow up with a series of hymns, it is always the most excited moment when I praise our God, deep down from my heart. This is why Man will never be the same as animal, they have a desire to worship God and most important, they have spirit.
"These apples are good. I tried before. They're still crunchy after a week." I was looking for some fresh fruit that could bear long enough for a week in my hostel room. I was by bored green apple, always giving me that awful expression whenever I tasted it. Of course, I'm not exaggerating, it made me nearly forgot how to smile, often in front of friends that come and chat with me when I'm having that awful fruit. So, it was out of my list that day. But of course, now I know I can find fruits in the bakery in my college, fresh and importantly, they are fridged. Papaya slices, guava, honeydew...yummy!
She offered me to buy the red apples, because of this mere, "crunchy" suggestion, I bought that same red apples for several times, in package, literally. I never know her well, I never know why would I listen to her. It's just a feel of trust and secure, in case if she's not a Christian, I would measure her words carefully for another time. However, I'm taking in her words without a doubt because I know she is harmless, for God's sake. Satisfied, she got on the car with another friend, eating yogurt and began their chatting.
As usual, I would always be the one most silence on the car, perhaps closing my eyes and listening to the peaceful hymn or truthfully sermon from the radio. I wish I could chat with someone, I wish the Government doesn't just send one person from Nibong Tebal here. What then? I'm still me. People often asked, "Don't you feel bad to do stuff alone?" Come on, it isn't that bad, because there's a God dwells inside my heart, I live my life in Him. I'm not alone, you see me as alone and sometimes what we see with eyes doesn't make the truth.
"Is this your room? It's nice to have five beds here, then I can have a seat on the empty one." This is second time I met her, Mr. Chew was asking her to come and ask me to go to the church. And that nice impression gave me motivation that as a Christian, I should always be friendly and kind to everyone because this is Christian, we see the difference and this is an action comes from the heart, no one can pretend to do it.
"Let's go." "What about the others?" "They are at Mr. Chew's house already, helping Madame Tor." "So, we just go and eat?" "Yes, we just go and eat." Everything reminds me that she is a friend, she is a friend, I couldn't spell the word "close". But why am I staying away from her now, with only an awkward "hi" each time I saw her?? I'm asking myself. And there's no answer for that. People born with their own personality and mine was and is a weird one, which my own mother couldn't change it by eating cheese and fish when she was pregnant. Yes, I'm weird. People thinks me as weird, instead of looking, they stare. Instead of greeting, they tighten their lips and walk away. Instead of a normal, relaxing chat, they ask me formal academic questions. So, should I cry? Should I come out with any surprising action to catch their attention? Should I report to Mom? Should I pretend that they are greatest people in the universe, so that they can start one or two sentence to me?
No. Because God loves me. This is why I am a Christian if you ask, because God is the only one who cares for me. I promised Him that I will love Him back.

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