Chopin

Listening to 'Funeral March' by Chopin. I could hardly choke my tears back.

I once told a friend, I didn't learn piano because I hate the note. I lied.

My family just can't afford me to learn.

As the elder among the siblings, I must be considerate. Tough, I still felt that life is unfair.

I always envy with those who can play. Watching my friends, elevated from one grade to another as we grew up. But, I just can't play a single song because I'm afraid that I might say, I could only play any music in my mind, draw any paintings in my mind that they are so easily formed where they do not need, like money.

Piano wrote poem. Silly for someone who refuse to learn and insipid for those who couldn't learn.

Maybe I have no talent for music, but it's unfair that I didn't get a chance to try. Watching other people learning, like having an exam, no passion within and then they spoil the whole things by playing the popular modern songs which I totally cannot accept.

I remember I played a simple song when I visited my friend. She was real shocked and wondered if I had learned, eyeballing me as she never hoped I would have one more better talent. And perhaps she didn't know, I know nothing about the note, I just memorized.

And another friend, with a truthful expression, told me not to learn piano as I am stupid, what a honest statement. And I always scared to ask from my parents as I will be turned down again. And about the statement my friend made, I only told my mother after a long time because I didn't want my mother to say something ever heart-stabbing. You know, before we came to know Christ, my family is kind of mean. Thank You Lord for opening our eyes and bringing us to You.

Tough, sometimes I will still feel uneasy about my life but I shall never compare with others. As Lord, He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights.