Last blog before the trip

There is a Pastor who said he has a principle, a very important one, which he will never break his promise. A deal is a deal, never disappoint those who trust in you.

I promised my Mom to cut a song, convert it's format and put it into her cellphone. Of course, she never knows all these processes, all she demanded is a song in her cellphone. And I failed to do it. I mean, I am going to do it later. But I delayed my promise.

Today was the first time I noticed some supportive encouragement from my Mom even tough our family condition is not easy. Frankly, I deliberately brought up the topic. She had been encouraging me to learn piano one day, when it comes to affordable. She said as a baby, I always loved music, I sang when I was one year old and I loved playing the small xylophone she bought for me. Other babies are hitting on the small piano with palms and I always knew that I should instead use my fingers to make the sound. And I once used a tissue box and a few rubber bands to make a guitar (I thought so) and played it like a idiot with my siblings. These were the past.

I was not sure what is my motive to raise that topic but I just said, "Mommy, I had decided. I am not going to learn any music instrument even tough the time I got a job and I'm settled down. I had make up my mind, I'm not cut out for these." Maybe part of me had tired of seeing people playing music in front of me whereas I don't get to grab any chance. Maybe part of me thinks I don't have the talent and I shouldn't ruin the relationship with my family with such simple issue. I'm exhausted.

But she replied, 'How possible do you know that you are not fit for this? If one day, you really could do this, you should take it." And my sister, she was hoping to use my painting as her Facebook Profile Picture. It was the first time I see the appreciation of my works from my family.

I can see changes in us by Christ. I knew I'm still a bad child, I might bring down all of them, the people I love. So, I decided this trip to K.L, hoping to have a change, to learn better on change, better on the appreciation of life and should come home with lesser complaints and grumbles.

I pray earnestly to our Heavenly Father that He comes and transforms me with His love and shows people with a better me. In Jesus's Holy name, Amen!

I just want to be a better person.